The Mystery of the Knicker Drawer – Unravelled and explained.

pretty-underwear-on-a-clothesline

We women are strange creatures, that’s no great mystery to anyone.

We can be beautiful, funny, and even normal at times! But nevertheless, there are very few people out there could explain the wild ramblings of a girl’s mind.

Now her knicker drawer on the other hand – that one’s much easier to read!

You see, a chara, those vital undergarments that we throw on gach maidin actually reveal quite a lot about the cailín inside of them. It’s our very first decision each day, and one which we give notable consideration to.

knicker drawer

 When it comes to such a crucial part of our daily lives, is it any wonder that we have oh so many types for each and every occasion?

Seven to be exact, so seo é…

A comprehensive guide to women’s knickers:

Uimhir a hAon, The Magic Knickers.

magic knickers

First introduced to the greater public by our dear friend Bridget Jones, the Magic Knickers are a miracle worker on a night-out and a must-have in the knicker drawer of any woman. Not only do they effortlessly hide our shameful lumps and bumps, but they also hold us together – not unlike an elasticated embrace. Sent to us from heaven these champions can be found in the Granny section of any department store.

Uimhir a Dó, The Lucky Knickers.

Job Interview? First day of College? Scrúdú? These bad boys have your back. These luckiest of knickers are known for their supernatural powers and tendency to attract good fortune when worn. To be treasured, appreciated and whipped out on the only the most momentous of occasions (due to an inherent fear that over-washing may reduce their  wonderful effects).

Uimhir a Trí, The My-Pants-Are-Too-Tight-For-Real-Knickers Knickers.

thong meme

For those of us who are a bit míchompordach with the whole “commando” notion, the thong is the only answer. Otherwise known as the G-string, these are our undergarment of choice when we’re showing off our bootay in our tightest jeans. No VPL here thank you very much…not much of anything really…

Uimhir a Ceathair, The Sexy Knickers.

black lacy knickers

For any buachaill reading, you may have once believed that these are the only knickers we possess. Sorry to crush your dreams honey, but similarly to our luckies, these lacy numbers come out for one reason and one reason only. Teamed with the magic push-up bra, these babies go for gold and seldom fail. Often costly, but always worth it, a trusty pair is always an investment.

Uimhir a Cúig, The Period Knickers.

period joke

Yes I’m saying it. The Voldemort (think “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named“) of all female functions. The period.

Well I couldn’t beat around the bush forever now could I?

*Insert cringe for risky pun here*

Due to the horror potentially inflicted by the previous pun, I’ll skip the details on this one. Because ladies, you already know, and boys, you just don’t want to…

Uimhir a Sé, The Hangover Knickers.

hangover knickers

Like your favourite fat-man pants, your PJs or your oversized hoody, the Hangover Knickers are a complete necessity when we’re shook. Typically enormous and often decorated with some sort of cartoon character, these are the comfiest knickers of the bunch and regularly give us strength the day after a wild night out…even after tequila!

Uimhir a Seacht, The No-Other-Clean-Knickers-Left Knickers.

old knickers

The most undesirable and unattractive on the list, these knickers can spend years untouched in the back of the drawer. There they hide, forgotten and unnoticed until our hour of absolute need when there’s just nothing else available. More often than not, these particular panties are some mank form of grey after fading in years of washing and may or may not have holes and stretched elastic (from falling of the line and being eaten by the dog, mar shampla). Disgusting as they are, they reappear from time to time, in only the most desperate of rushes.

So much choice, so little time…

So choose wisely ladies, but don’t go getting your knickers in a twist.

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